How To Smile
by Marymel
Summary: Jackson talks to Brass after the events in "The Devil And D.B. Russell." Some spoilers!


**Jackson is my original character, but I don't own CSI.**

**I thought it was time for another Jackson and Brass story. With everything that happened in "Skin In The Game," I wondered what Brass might say to Jackson about everything that happened with his daughter. So, this is what I came up with. Hope you enjoy...and pretty please review!**

If there was one thing Jim Brass was absolutely tired of, it was people asking how he was doing. He'd just returned to work after his ex-wife's funeral, and wanted to get back to some degree of normalcy. His family at the department and crime lab was the only real family he'd ever known, and he was thankful for their support and concern. But if one more person asked how he was doing, Jim thought he'd punch them in the face.

He was walking to the lobby when he saw Jackson Sanders, Greg and Morgan's four-year-old son, sitting with Barbara Russell. Jim couldn't help but smile when he saw the red-haired boy talking and shifting in his seat. Jackson knew Morgan had been kidnapped when they were searching for the killer that ultimately took his ex-wife's life, and he knew that Jim had lost his own daughter. But Jackson was unaware of why Jim's ex-wife was killed or of Ellie's strained relationship with her father. Jackson, like Jim, loved his family at the crime lab and just wanted them to be happy.

Jim cleared his throat, and Jackson and Barbara looked up and smiled. "Hi!" Jackson said with a smile.

"Hello," Barbara said.

Jim nodded as he sat next to Jackson. "I'll bet you're waiting for your daddy."

Jackson smiled. "Daddy say he meet me here so we can have lunch. Do you like sammiches?"

"Sure I do," Jim said with a smile. "How's your mom doing?"

"She good," Jackson said. "Sometime she has bad dreams. I told her she can hab Cubby. He my teddy bear, an' he help me when I hab bad dreams."

Jim had to smile at the innocent child. "That is very sweet of you, Jackson."

Barbara smiled sadly. "Jackson, would you like to color a picture for Uncle Jim?"

"Okay!" Jackson rummaged through his bag and pulled out some paper and crayons. Just then, Barbara's cell rang.

"It's Charlie," she explained. "He's going to meet us for lunch. I've got to take this."

Jim nodded and smiled softly as Jackson began coloring.

"Would you mind watching him for a minute?" She asked the detective.

"Sure," Jim said with a smile. Barbara answered her phone and began talking to her son.

"Uncle Jim, do you wanna color wif me?" Jackson asked.

Jim couldn't help but smile. "Okay. But I haven't colored a picture in a long time."

"It easy," Jackson said, handing the detective a crayon and a piece of paper. "You can draw sumfin wif a star, cause you wear a star dere." He pointed to the detective's badge.

"Okay," Jim said with a slight laugh. He knew Jackson was unaware of just how horrible his ex-wife's death was and why his adopted mother was almost killed as well. The little boy just wanted to spend time with his uncle and draw him a picture.

As Jackson colored, he looked up at the detective. "Uncle Jim, daddy say dat you sad."

Jim stopped coloring and sighed deeply. "Yeah. I had a little girl..not too much younger than your daddy. She, uh...she went away."

Jackson thought for a moment. "Daddy say a bad person hurt her an' almost hurt my mama."

"That's right," Jim said. "But that person won't ever hurt anyone again."

"But your little girl not coming back?"

Jim shook his head. "No, Jackson. She's not ever coming back. And I'm sad that I'll never see her again."

Jackson pouted slightly as he looked at the detective. "I sorry. But my daddy an' Uncle Nicky say dat you can keep someone you love in your heart. Dat way you hab dem wif you all da time."

Jim smiled softly. "That's right. I keep her in my heart. I'm still sad she's not here anymore..."

Jackson frowned. "I sorry you sad."

As bad as it hurt to lose Nancy and to never really have the chance at a normal relationship with Ellie, Jim knew Jackson was innocent and just wanted to help him feel better. "I'll be okay, Jackson. And I'm mad."

"You are?"

"Yeah. I'm mad that she's not here anymore, I'm mad at the person that hurt her...I'm mad for a lot of reasons. It's okay to feel mad sometimes."

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, I guess so." He began coloring and thought for a moment. "Are you mad at me?"

Jim stopped and put an arm around the little boy. Jackson looked up at the detective. "No," Jim said with certainty. "You are the reason I still remember how to smile."

Jackson softly smiled at the detective. "I am?"

"You are! How about that?"

Jackson smiled. "Cool!"

Jim couldn't help but smile at the little boy who loved his family at the lab and just wanted him to be okay. He'd watched the boy's father go from goofy lab tech to capable CSI, and saw that he was a good father. As much as Jim wished he could have had another chance to be a father to Ellie, he knew he'd done everything in his power to save her and so had everyone in the department. He also knew Ellie had given up on herself even if he'd never given up on her.

Watching the little boy beside him color and hum a little tune to himself, Jim felt like he had a chance to be a part of a family.

"You know what, Jackson?" Jim asked. Jackson stopped and looked up at him. "I think you are a very lucky guy to have a dad that loves you so much."

Jackson smiled. "I have da bestest daddy! An' I have a cool family."

"Yeah, you do." Jim smiled softly at the little boy.

Barbara smiled when she saw the detective coloring and chatting with the little boy. "I think you're pretty lucky to have Uncle Jim," Barbara told Jackson.

"Yeah!" Jackson said as he wrapped his arms around Jim. The detective fought back tears and smiled as the little boy hugged him.

Greg came in and smiled softly when he saw his son and Jim. Like Jim, Greg knew they'd done everything they could to save Ellie, and Jim assured them that Morgan was not to blame for anything that happened to her.

Jackson pulled away and smiled when he saw his father. "Daddy!" He jumped down from the chair and rushed to greet him.

Greg lifted his son into his arms and hugged him close. Jim smiled as he watched the two of them together.

Barbara smiled. "I've got to go meet D.B., but I'll see you tomorrow." She kissed Jackson's cheek and said goodbye.

"You been good?" Greg asked Jackson.

"Daddy, Uncle Jim say he mad. But he gunna be okay!"

Jim smiled as he stood to greet Greg. "Yeah, I told him I'll be okay." Seeing Greg's concerned smile, he added, "Really."

Greg nodded. "Morgan said you talked to her."

"Yeah," Jim said with a sigh. "What happened...it would have happened if someone else had gone undercover. And Ellie...I don't know..."

Greg put a supportive hand on Jim's arm. "You did everything you could do. I know it doesn't seem like much..."

"No, it's true," Jim said. "Maybe...maybe someday I can forgive myself."

Greg nodded. "Remember when I said you're a good man?" Jim looked at Greg questioningly. "It's true, you are a good man," Greg insisted. "You are a good man, Jim."

Jim smiled slightly. "Thank you, Greg."

Jackson pouted slightly and looked at the detective. "You not sad?"

Jim smiled wider. "I'll be okay, pal."

"Don't forget how to smile, 'kay?"

Jim and Greg both laughed softly. "I won't." Jim said. "You're the reason I remember how."

For a little boy, Jackson had the biggest smile. "Thank you, Uncle Jim."

Greg smiled softly at his son with the detective. "Hey, Jacks? You think Uncle Jim would like to have some lunch with us?"

"Yeah!" Looking at the detective, Jackson asked, "Do you wanna hab lunch wif us, please?"

Jim couldn't help but smile. "Sure."

Jackson squirmed out of Greg's arms and took the detective's hand. "You can sit wif me at da restaurant, 'kay?"

"I'd like that," Jim said with a smile. As he joined his extended family for lunch, Jim felt that he would be okay. He knew it would be a long road and Ellie and Nancy would never be out of his heart and mind. But with his extended family's help, he'd be okay.

**The End.**


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